the nap time guilt

abbey stopped taking naps a few months after she turned three. she quit falling asleep most days and when she did fall asleep she wasn't ready for bed that night until 9 or later. as much as i love nap time, i value an early bedtime even more, so we called it quits on naps for abbey.

enter, nap time guilt.

packing my backpack so we can go camping..

now, tucker still naps in the afternoon anywhere from 1.5 hrs to 2 hrs. i still need/want time in the afternoon to think thoughts, eat lunch and maybe do something productive. maybe. but now i have abbey awake with me. abbey sees tucker's nap time as her chance to get me all to herself to do things like paint, make necklaces, play camping and princesses and so on. when her napping first ceased i was pretty adamant about making her have quiet, alone time in her room or at the very least, watch a show in my bed during tucker's naps. after awhile though i started to feel guilty about not taking advantage of this time with her without the needs/distractions of other kids. she loves one-on-one time with gregg or i and it is pretty limited. so, i started trying to split the time up, letting her be alone part of the time and then playing together part of the time. it was working okay.

enter eisley.

now, on a good day, i am able to get eisley and tucker's napping to overlap for about 1 hr in the afternoons. i usually haven't eaten lunch by that point so i like to try cram that into their nap time. sometimes i want to get dinner stuff started, get dressed, straighten my hair, do a workout dvd, etc. most of the time i want to sit in silence without someone talking to me or crying at me. it's my only chance to have any resemblance of down time during the day. but, abbey is still awake and even more eager to seize the opportunity for alone time now that she has a 2nd sibling stealing it from her and my guilt about enforcing her quiet time is even greater. i mean, these days are fleeting right? she's growing up fast and soon making necklaces and coloring with me will be the last thing she is thinking about, so shouldn't i stop being selfish and just spend any time i can with her?

see my conflict? seize the alone time with abbey or work for a few minutes of alone time for myself?

for the record, i am typing this during nap time and abbey is currently at the kitchen table making bead necklaces on her own..and i'm feeling pretty crappy about that. ugh.