i grew up in church. from the time i was a newborn you would likely find my tiny self in a pew with my parents on wednesday evenings, sunday mornings and sunday mornings. if there was a prayer service we were there. if there was a special convention or meeting of sorts-we were there. i am so thankful that this made up such a huge part of my childhood. sometimes though i wonder if the knowledge of Christ from such a young age has led me to take the gift of salvation He provided for me for granted.

i have come to realize that up until just the last few years i hadn't really believed that i was all that much of a sinner. i was the good girl-i did all the right things and none of the bad things. so although i knew that i couldn't get to heaven on my own "goodness" (ephesians 2:8), i don't think i fully grasped that i too was a person with a messy, selfish and sinful heart. there is something about realizing that and my desperate need for Christ to save me from my sin on a daily basis that makes the gift of salvation all the more real and all the more precious.

what spurred these thoughts at 7:30am on a friday? this article.

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel,
 and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

psalms 73:23-26