another day

another day done.

another evening of climbing into bed and feeling like i wasted the day.

some days everything just feels so much harder than usual. today was one of those days for me.

maybe it was because i went to bed at 11pm (instead of 10pm) last night. maybe it was because my kids woke me up pretty consistently from the hours of 4am to 6:30am. maybe it was because it was monday.

i don't really know why but when i finally opened my eyes this morning for good, life just felt overwhelming.

lunch to pack, kids to dress, messes to clean up, fights to break up, breakfast to make and serve, breakfast to clean up, school drop off, work out to get done, etc. all simple tasks and, honestly, all tasks that i feel like are a gift to even have before me for the day.

but today, they all felt like a burden.

i don't know why.

but when the house was finally quiet and the messes were finally cleaned, when the kids were put into bed and lights turned out, i crawled into my bed and felt...guilt.

just as i was starting to go over the list of all the things i messed up today, i had a new thought. what if i made a list of the things i had gotten right today instead? surely, there had to be something to put on there.

so here goes:

- i was up before my kids this morning
-everyone was fed and abbey was at school on time
-i prioritized a workout even when i REALLY did not feel like it
-i stuck to my eating goals for the day
-i touched base with friends and family both in town and out of state
-we spent over an hour playing at the park in this incredible weather
-i said yes to riding with the windows down in the van even though it's really not my favorite
- 3 loads of laundry got done
-i made dinner (grilled cheese and scrambled eggs...but still) for the kids instead of going through chic-fila
-abbey wrote a story and i remembered to ask her to read it to me before bed instead of forgetting this sort of thing like i often do
-i calmed down several epic 2 year old meltdowns today without spinning into my own meltdown in the process
-i sat to watch a 3 minute superhero video with a 4 year old because he insisted that i HAD to see the "coolest video ever" even when i really wanted to keep trying to nap instead

so maybe today wasn't the best day i've had as a mom but maybe it wasn't a completely wasted day either. this (kinds corny) exercise really did help me sort through my thoughts about the day more than i expected it to. maybe it could help you too?

oh, and hey, i wrote a blog post for the first time in 4 months.