some days, more often than not these days, i'm convinced everyone else is doing this mom thing better than me.
we just got home from what felt like a marathon of exhausting morning events. our last stopped was to costco where two complete strangers asked if i needed help... not employees mind you, just shoppers. probably because eisley cried the whole time, even though i held her the whole time...and the other two, well they were actually being pretty decent. even with their good behavior, it all felt very chaotic.
by the time i got everyone back to the van, buckled in and somewhat content, i just kept thinking that another moms have got to be doing this better than me. other moms have to be better at calming their children down over invisible injuries and dropped blankets. other moms probably have clear thoughts and less chaos in their brain more often than i do. other moms probably don't have a one year old that yells at them most of the day unless being held and an almost 3 yr old they just haven't had the energy to even try to potty train. other moms probably don't have children that wake up at 5:30am everyday no matter what time they go to bed. other moms probably cook dinner more than once or twice a week and don't let their kid watch disney jr. and pbs. other moms probably have a discipline method figured out by now (you know, nearly five years into parenting) that they are consistent with. other moms probably incorporate more scripture into their kids lives. oh, and they probably have some sort of "school" time at home too. other moms can probably handle the chaos of three (just 3!!) children so much better than i do. basically, other moms have got to be doing this better than me.
some days, i know this isn't true. i know that every mom struggles and is just tying to figure it out. the problem is when those hard days come one on top of the other and then, i'm sitting in the parking lot of costco with 2 screaming children behind me and thinking, "yeah, other moms have got to be doing this better."
so if you find yourself sitting with those same thoughts, you can feel confident in knowing that at least this mom feels like she isn't doing it any better. i don't have it figured out, i don't even have one piece of it figured out because it seems to change everyday. but, my kids know that i love them. they feel safe with me. they want me to hold them and fix their invisible injuries. they can know that even when they have meltdowns over breakfast and wake me up every single day before the sun, that i will always be there. they can know that my love for them isn't earned by their behavior but is constant just by their existence and nothing more. if i can give that to them, if i can do at least that much, the rest will some how be okay.
...and maybe we won't do anymore costco trips for awhile.