Thursday, June 13, 2013

the truth is..

i've been struggling lately. i mean, struggling. it is funny how one thing starts to feel hard and then, before you know it, everything feels like an insurmountable task and you find yourself fighting back tears all day and day dreaming about hiding in your bed. at least it's that way for me.

the past few weeks have not been easy for me and because they have not been easy for me, they haven't exactly been a joy ride for everyone else in our home. here's the thing, i really really want to list off all the things that justify my poor attitude and struggle. i really do. it would make me feel better about myself and chances are you would probably agree that i'm somewhat justified in my complaints and general unpleasantness. unfortunately, that's not really going to help at the end of the day and will likely only fuel my self-pity when it comes down to it.

you know those days that we all have sometimes? the ones that leave us feeling like a failure of a mother, wife, friend, etc? the days when we had too little patience, yelled when we shouldn't have and put forth the bare minimum in our relationships? we all have them every now and then. unfortunately, i've been having that day for the past 3 weeks or so. every night i will go to bed planning for tomorrow to be better. vowing to muster up more energy and patience for the day ahead. i cry about how i'm wasting these last few days with my two babies before my time and energy are spread even more thin with the arrival of their new sibling. but, every morning i wake up tired, sore and feeling like i have no idea how i will survive the next 13 hours until bed time comes again.

yesterday, i finally had enough of hard day that i reached out to a friend. not in a huge way, but just a simple & quick text admitting that i had been struggling and asking for prayer. up until then, i'd just been accepting it as what life would be like until at least June 24th.

there is something about the power of community and knowing someone who gets it is praying for you. i know this person is sincere in their commitment to pray.  today was probably the best day we've had in weeks. it wasn't because i made good on my vow to "do better" either. i am convinced it was because God used the sincere prayers of my sweet friend for my good.

sometimes, it is easy to neglect praying when someone needs help and instead go straight to "doing". doing is nice and tangible and makes us feel useful. it definitely is needed and has it's place but it cannot replace the work God will do through the prayers of His children.

here's the thing, parenting is hard work. growing babies and taking care of small children is hard work. please don't ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise. i do think the load feels a little lighter though when we all admit it's hard work and that we just downright fail at it some days. i'm so thankful for the community God has placed in my life. i'm SO thankful for the many, many women around me who "get it", who aren't afraid to admit that's hard, that they suck sometimes too and who will truly pray when praying is needed.

"13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."james 5

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