in 5 weeks and 3 days i will have a newborn. that is not very far away. i am not even going to pretend that i have high hopes for this whole thing to be a smooth transition. why do i feel this way?

this child.


this sweet, funny and ridiculously cute (almost) 18 month old boy. i'm sure his 3 year old sister will play a decent role in the chaos to come but i fully expect him to be mostly responsible for what will surely be the loss of all my sanity in 5 weeks and 3 days.

don't get me wrong, he really is a good baby (toddler?), he is just very interested in his environment. he walks around the house looking for things to get into, destroy, climb on, pull apart, eat or throw in the trash. he really appreciates being held on demand and has taken a new interest in literally pulling on my clothes and whining when i cannot meet those demands immediately. so you know, i have this mental image of holding (likely nursing) a newborn in one hand, getting a snack for abbey with the other and having this little guy trying to literally climb up my legs while screeching. it's a pretty image, one i am most certain will happen on a daily basis.

so, when people ask me if i'm ready to have this baby i don't really know how to respond. ha. yes, i am ready to get a baby out of my body. absolutely. i am looking forward to the newborn stage again, meeting our new baby girl and figuring out life with 3 kids. am i ready for the daily chaos and next level of exhaustion and selflessness that will come with that? probably not, but i have a feeling no one really is so i think we'll be fine.

^{9 "}But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 2:9