on to the superficial....

disclaimer: the title of this post is VERY appropriate for it's contents

can't stop thinking about what i will look like after i'm done being pregnant-i just have no idea what to expect. i know to expect a good 4 weeks of looking pregnant after having the baby and i'm trying not to have unrealistic expectations for looking like my old self again. i think one of two things happens when you get pregnant (or at least in my case):

1. you realize that you really were thin before you got pregnant and that you just didn't appreciate it or recognize it.

2. you become completely disillusioned with how you looked pre-pregnancy and start to think you looked much better than you actually did

i think a little bit of both are going on with me at the moment. i am having dreams about working out and wearing regular clothes-nightly almost. with, hopefully, only 6 weeks left of carrying around this pumpkin belly i just can't help but wonder if i'll feel better or worse about myself after having abbey. i've always struggled with comparing myself to others and it's no different while pregnant just even more ridiculous. obviously, i'm going to look larger and more frumpy at 8.5 months pregnant than someone who is not any months pregnant. ridiculous but it's how my mind works.

in other news, my baby belly is so out there now that i'm constantly getting my shirts wet or stained right around my belly button area. it's so funny. i was washing clothes and realized that all my stains are in that exact same spot.

i'm getting really anxious for her to get here too. i go sit in her room during the day and try to imagine what it will be like when she's in it with me. i keep pulling out her clothes and organizing them according to the ones that i like the most and that she will use right away verses 2-3 months from now. i'm also trying to figure out what i want to take to the hospital for her to wear while there and on the trip home. today, we went to babies r us to get a breast pump (oh so exciting i know) and there was this baby girl about 5 months old all bundled up in a coat, mittens, shoes and hat. it was just about the cutest thing i've ever seen! i seriously just wanted to pick her up and squeeze her. i'm glad abbey will be born in the winter and i can bundle her all up in cozy clothes.