blahness

today has been a weird day. it wasn't particularly bad- just strange.

much of the strangeness relates to work. so, my current position is a part-time one and i've had this for the past 1.5 years. all in all, i really like my job and i most definitely respect and appreciate the agency i work for. so my director put in a request for my position to be increased to full time in the new year. today we had our staff meeting and let me just say, the economy is not kind to the nonprofit world these days. it was a rather bleak and sad meeting and, needless to say, i am not full time and, in fact, am very blessed to even still have my job at all. literally. there is still a chance in january and again in april that i could lose it due to lack of funding so that does create some anxiety in me. i've just had this strange, semi-depressed, semi-grumpy attitude/mood ever since that meeting ended and i can't figure it out. i wasn't really counting on becoming full time b/c it was a long shot to begin with so i can't figure out why i'm so bothered by all this...

in addition to this, i am, at least lately, a complete failure as a cook of any sort. i can still bake so that's good..but cooking..not so much. i told gregg after my 4th failed attempt in a row tonight that i will not be cooking for a month. it can be his thing (which he does plenty anyways) or we can eat cereal (which we do often anyway) for dinner. i am taking a break from even trying..

other than that, i'm just feeling all around defeated and down today. i hope tomorrow is better.

now i plan to stay up and watch tv until i fall asleep on the couch or until gregg discovers i haven't come back to bed and makes me come back.