Sunday, October 26, 2008

(myself, my brother and sister during a random visit my entire family made to Austin several months back)

i always wanted an older sibling. my best friend jamie has 2 older brothers and i was always secretly been jealous of her for that. even when we were in jr. high & they were super cool high schoolers and not so nice to her, i was still sad that i didn't have that. being the oldest definitely has its advantageous but it most certainly has its disadvantages.

mine for example were:

i grew up in a Christian home and my dad was a pastor for the majority of my childhood. this is something i would never ever change if given the option it did, however, prove to make my jr. high/high school life more difficult living in a small town.

- i could not go to dances
- i could not watch movies that were not G or PG rated (and PG had to be pre-screened before i could watch them)
-i could not wear jewelry
-i could not paint my nails
-i most definitely could not listen to non-Christian music or watch any of the following shows: MTV (understandable), The Simpsons, Roseanne, Golden Girls (yes..not even golden girls) and the like.

However, by the time my younger sister reached jr. high my parents realized that jr. high dances were in fact NOT the gateway to hell, nor was jewelry or painted finger nails. that was one reason why i wanted an older sibling back then.

but now, as i'm olderish and married, i really wish i had an older sibling to look to and kinda follow after. i wish i had a sister who had children already that i could brag about and love and watch as she raised so that maybe i would feel just slightly more prepared when my time came. i wish i had an older brother to go to when i needed advice or just security when my parents aren't close by. i wish i had someone that felt as protective about me as i do my younger sister and brother.

don't get me wrong, i love love love my sister and brother and am so thankful for them and as we get older i have seen them both take on aspects of an older sibling during various trials in life. even by little brother who is nine years younger than me and five years younger than my sister, stepped in to that role on the occasions when my a boy had hurt either of us.

i guess you always wish for you don't or can't have. i'm sure my sister wishes to not be a middle child and i'm sure my brother wishes to be thought of anything but the baby of the family for awhile.

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