Friday, December 17, 2010

maybe the reason i've had nothing to say lately is because i've been in an unpleasant state lately.

several times i've started typing something and realized it was just me whining about things that really aren't that bad. it is ridiculous because i can recognize that i'm being irrational but just don't care enough to stop being that way so i continue to be a grump.

a few nights ago i was laying in bed thinking about how unpleasant my mood has been and what i could possibly do to fix it. honestly, i don't like the person i am when i'm like that and there is nothing my life that merits such an attitude-i mean literally nothing. anyway, as i was thinking it hit me that i have totally been neglecting prayer and scripture lately. regardless of how "churchy" it may sound to say such a thing-it's true. i fully believe that my unpleasantness is due largely to this-my attitude has just been plain bad lately.

so, this week i've been making time to read scripture on a daily basis. i always struggle with this because i really need structure when it comes to this sort of thing. i need some sort of schedule or study to follow because i never know where to start. so i started in psalms but then got distracted by a sermon i heard and ended up in 1 peter today. um, can i just say that i would like to quote the entire chapter of 1 peter because there wasn't one scripture that didn't hit me hard.

but i'll just stick to verse 13:

"therefore, prepare your minds for action and being sober minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

my hope often is set on everything BUT the reality of Christ and this is why my attitude is often so poor. when will i ever get this?