Wednesday, March 24, 2010
i have been missing friends a good bit lately and have found myself feeling very lonely. it could be because i spend so much time alone with a 3.5 mth old but i really think it's just because things have finally settled down. it's been enough time for me to really start missing having close friends around me. we have lived in ft. worth for 8 months now and, for the most part, i feel like we just moved here. i have friends here but i'm still getting to know them in most ways. it takes me awhile to feel comfortable and connected with people. it is part of the plague of social awkwardness that i carry with me. i also think that my self consciousness is getting in the way of developing stronger friendships with the people i have met here. ever since about the 5th month of pregnancy i just haven't felt like myself. i was hoping that i would start feeling "normal" again after abbey was born but i just haven't yet. i know it will come but i'm realizing it is going to happen more slowly than i would like for it to.