Monday, June 22, 2009

i am trying with everything within me to not let myself start freaking out about what the next 5 months will bring. normally, moving to a new city and starting graduate school would be only a little scary but mostly exciting for me. normally, have a baby for the first time would be a little exciting but mostly terrifying for me. lucky for me, i've combined the two!

oh man.

all i know to do when i start to feel the panic rise up in me is to go back to trusting God. i know it sounds so sunday schooly and churchy but honestly, it is the ONLY thing getting me through everyday without breaking down, declaring i'm post-poning school and begging gregg to get his job back here in austin. it doesn't help that everyone i tell my plans to looks at me like i just told them i'm planning to pilot a freaking space ship to mars. seriously people, where's the support! i know i CANNOT be the ONLY person in the world to have a baby and go to school at the same time. stop looking at me like i am braving some new unfounded territory.

anyway, as churchy as it may sound, i know that this is the direction God is leading us in right now. i know that if this wasn't the absolute right time for this baby to be coming-it would be coming right now. so, that's all i can do to reassure myself, well that, and remember that i seriously have the best, most supportive and capable person to go through the upcoming 5 months with.

whew.

2 comments:

Samantha said...

Whew! Good luck, sister. I know you'll be fine. I think of it as a life makeover, and I think that is what you needed. At least you'll never be bored anymore! Haha.

Brittany said...

I just recently got some great advice that I'll pass along to you:

"Be anxious for nothing (Phil 4:6)"
"Be still & know that I am God (Exodus 14:14)"
"Do not be anxious about tomorrow (Matt 6:34)"

:) He will be your provision ~
Much Love girl~ we miss you guys!!!
Brit